Today I volunteered to chaperone a PreK field trip to Dr. Davies farm. All and all it was great, a first for me. Raising two older girls, I missed out on Many opportunities such as this. It was Simple, I didn’t know how to use my time Effectively . As a result time was never on my side. Here I am much older and somewhat wiser, realizing that this is the last go around of what seemed like a never ending cycle of school in my house. What better time to master the parenting skills and in a timely fashion I adjusted my schedule in order to partake on their journey of making memories. Though my twin boys have no shortage of love and affection, they are more capable than the two older girls. Why not relish in the moments I missed with the girls? I asked myself, this was the first step in the right direction. I was so busy searching for new methods of thriving, I forgot to make an impact on the girls earlier childhood memories. Many times I question my parenting skills, always putting my best food forward sometimes I bury myself in my own sympathy forgetting the vital role I play in all my children’s life. It was my lack thereof that brought me to this very decision today.
I decided I wanted to take a different path with the boys, a different approach after all a mother set some kind of standard in which her son seek a companion. Today was Khalebs turn. I would go with Khalebs class this morning, since both boys were in separate class. Khaden would only acknowledge me if I was wearing a transformer outfit and even then he would try to rob me of it just so he could wear it, other than that his love for school pretty much out weighed my presence. In any event, the classes would be combined on the bus so it wasn’t like I was totally abandoning my spontaneously overly excited child, who ran instead of walk, who could take off on a moments notice without a hint of warning.
At 8:15 am I reported to the respective classroom where I was greeted by the teachers and my innocent and observant KHALEB. He was like a parrot at home but in school he received nothing but praise for his good behavior and his responsiveness. He waved to acknowledge me, but remained seated on the sitting Mat where his name indicated his position. Today, I hoped would be the first of many, requesting the day off from work to be fully invested in the pumpkin picking excursion, myself and the boys first pumpkin patch experience. It was cold, windy day, but on the upside the sun highlighted the beautiful scenery. One of those contradictory weather forecasts. The thirty four eager prekindergarteners were overly excited, I doubt the cold weather mattered much, they jumped, they ran, they fell, but mostly they were overjoyed to climb onto to the wagon and roll through Dr. Davies farm. I haven’t being on a hay ride before and this was a first for me like my boys. On our way to the patch me sitting between the boys as the brisk sharp wind brushed across my face, we cling to each other for that extra warmth. There wasn’t a cloud in the bright blue sky, the sun was shining effortlessly on the orchards of apple as we drove through the patch. Forbidden to touch the fruit as it hanged over into the pathway to the patch, we could only look at the beautiful fruit as it was clearly tempting the Prekindergarten students who wanted a snack.
Khaden was sitting on that hayride for a good five minutes, his cooperation span was limited and he was itching to run the cornfield that was adjacent to the pumpkin patch. I tightened my grip upon my wild child for I knew if he let go he would take off without conviction and abandon his designated pumpkin picking area. As we searched through the surmount of pumpkins to pick the most desirable pumpkin for each boy, they picked the smallest pumpkins that could fit in their grip. Well that decision lasted a whole minute and as each of the thirty-four children picked their pumpkins we headed back to the wagon to depart from the patch.
Through the fields we commuted slowly, the ride was ever so bumpy as we fell in every Rut and mud holes. As we departed the patch I realized how effortless this decision was. I have created a Chapter in my sons story that hopefully will continue to ring true to the experiences that they had as a child, even if the memories fade the picture still remains. I myself had one for the books, such a remarkable experience on the count Of being present in support of Khaden and Khalebs first pumpkin patch. These were the moments that define my hands on approach to motherhood, to be able to stand up and say I volunteer to be among the memories that initiated a valuable gift that will eventually make a difference one day. As a mother I want to fill any and every void of isolation, not good enough, and second guessing in my children’s life. Though it may be a long shot in this harsh society we live in, my main agenda is to leave an indelible mark in my boys life.
We boarded the cheese bus destined for the school, all the kids were at their limit. Four year old has a Rush, a peak and eventually they crashed. As we depart Dr. Davies farm another school arrives to make memories of the fall pumpkin season. So much tales of a three hour long journey, by the time we hit the Tappan Zee Bridge my Khaleb crammed into the seat where all three of us sat, he fell asleep amidst the laughter and chatter that overwhelmed the bus. As for Khaden he was alert the entire time, unable to sit still reminding me that Halloween was around the corner and that his costume for this year would be a transformer. Optimus prime mom, he said. I called you mom he said and I will call you that when we reach the school. A stark reminder of how our title changes depending on request. Today, I bonded with my boys and it was the best feeling in the world. As a single mother I tend to focus on the bills more than my children’s well-being, I was taught food, shelter and security trumps a motherly title given my predicament. I intend to change this Generational cycle that I grew up in, it was ambitiously handed to me by my mothers action though I take full responsibility for my role in all that I do.
Finally, we arrived back at the school with all thirty-four pre k students, parents and teachers. Our pumpkins weighed heavily on my shoulder as I carry them in my bag, but unlike many load. This load I was willing to bear.