It’s not the fact that I have been sentenced to a life of “what if’s”, it’s the fact that I’ve chosen my sentence. I had a path to follow and I did more detouring than sitting through congested traffics than I would have liked. As A teenager I thought I had it all figured out, I choose to lean on friends who I now realize are the actual definition of foes. Their advice were not for my greater good, instead it was their own recipe for my failure. I was reaching towards certain goals I had set for myself but was misdirected by their own deplorable measures to make sure I didn’t come into my greatness or overtake them in the race for life. The naievity of my younger years somehow spewed into the earlier days of my adult life.
While I robbed myself of some precious experience such as travel, I won’t hold myself accountable to the point of regret. It wasn’t in the cards back then but hopefully one day I will I will get the Chance. Seeing the world is something I hold out for, a lost soul hoping to regain some momentum from real life experiences that I differed. I always wanted to see the world from a higher point of view. A much larger perspective from my current stance. Who to tell, maybe my cards are reshuffling as I sit her and contemplate my future while rehashing my past. I am going to be great I tell myself, I will look back on my past and claim it as the narrative that holds the many stories that will eventually come to fruition. Many said I would be able to do this and that, so as I take to the drivers seat of my life, I fear nothing.
The idea of a single struggling mother has paved many roads for me, some I didn’t know I would travel. One thing I can say is that I overcame majority of them there isn’t a specific path for everyone some accidentally travel a path meant for others and make it there own, Some create a path, and finally people like me who are stuck between independent and and finding things out the struggles becomes all too real. It goes without saying that it’s easier to identify the flaws of others but when one is the driver in the front seat, the view becomes limited. So I am taken my life back with all it’s golden attributes and all, I will soar someday, maybe not today, not tomorrow, or even next week but I will soar higher than a airplane at it’s peak altitude.